Understanding Childhood and Youth

It's one topic at a time. You can read it or click Listen: the phrase that sounds is color-coded.

Who this guide is for

This guide is for mothers, fathers and carers of children and adolescents. It explains what signs to watch for and how to accompany at home. It is not for diagnosis. If you are concerned about something, consult your pediatrician or a child and adolescent psychologist.

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What is expected and what is not

Fears, tantrums, and mood swings are part of growing up. Adolescence brings many physical, emotional, and social changes. He worries when the discomfort lasts for weeks and doesn't subside. When it's too intense for his age. And when it interferes, he doesn't want to go to school, he leaves his friends, his performance drops dramatically.

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Sources: 1 (see Sources tab)

What the data say

Worldwide, 1 in 7 teenagers aged 10 to 19 has a mental disorder. Anxiety is the most common problem at this age. It affects about 4% of 10 to 14-year-olds and just over 5% of 15 to 19-year-olds. Depression affects about 1 percent of younger people and more than 3 percent of older people. Detecting it early and treating it changes the prognosis.

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Sources: 1 (see Sources tab)

Warning signs

Sudden mood swings, irritability, or sadness that don't go away. He isolates himself and stops seeing his friends. He sleeps or eats very differently than usual. He's either going down or he's refusing to go to class. He often complains of abdominal or headache without medical cause. Doing risky things or using alcohol or other substances. He hurts himself or talks about not wanting to live.

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Sources: 1 (see Sources tab)

In young children

Young children express discomfort with their body and behavior. They can go back to old habits, like peeing or not wanting to sleep alone. More tantrums, fears, or excessive attachment appear. They can't always tell what's wrong with them. You have to watch what they do.

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Which treatments work

Psychological treatment is the first choice in children and adolescents. It usually involves family work. Antidepressants should not be used to treat depression in children. In adolescents they are not the first choice and are used with special caution. Any medication is prescribed by a specialist doctor. Protecting against adversity and promoting emotional learning is part of prevention.

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Sources: 1, 2 (see Sources tab)

If they talk about hurting themselves

Always take it seriously. Listen calmly, without arguing or belittling. Asking directly doesn't give you the idea. Get professional help the same day. In Spain, the 024 line supports people with suicidal thoughts and their families. In an emergency, call 112.

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Sources: 1 (see Sources tab)

Common myths

It's just a matter of age. Sometimes it is. If it lasts and limits you, you have to look at it. He does it to get attention. If he needs it, something happens to him. He'll get over it. Detecting it early changes the prognosis. Taking him to the psychologist will mark him. It teaches him that asking for help is normal. It's the parents' fault. Many factors play a role. Family is part of the solution.

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Sources: 1, 2 (see Sources tab)

Tips for each difficulty

Choose the area that weighs the most on you today. Mark the pattern you're going to practice and it'll be kept in My plan.

Listening and talking

A child or teenager speaks when he feels that he will not be judged or lectured.

Pick the moment. In the car, cooking or walking. Sideways is easier than face to face.Listen more than you talk. Allow silences. Don't interrupt to correct.Name the emotion. It seems that gave you a lot of anger.Validate before advising. I understand how you feel. It goes first.Ask what they need. Do you want me to help you or just listen?One-to-one time. Ten or fifteen minutes a day with each child, without screens.

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These tips are standard guidance from parenting programmes.

Fears and anxiety

If you avoid everything he fears, the fear grows. So does forcing them. The way is to accompany to approach little by little.

Name the fear without mocking. "I can see that scares you."Small steps. Divide your fears into steps and start with the easiest one.Praise the effort. Value the fact that they tried, however it turns out.Don't reassure endlessly. He responds once calmly and changes his activity.Show your calm. He learns more from how you react than what you say.Predictable routines. Knowing what's going to happen lowers anxiety.

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These tips are standard guidance from parenting programmes.

Tantrums and behaviour

Difficult behavior is usually an emotion that cannot be expressed. Boundaries provide security when they are few, clear and stable.

Few, clear rules. Three or four, positive: At home we talk without shouting.Give warning before changes. "We're switching off in five minutes."Predictable consequences. Short, related to what happened and never humiliating.Notice what they do well. Say it right now and in a concrete way.In the middle of a tantrum, stay calm. Few words, stay close and don't negotiate. Talk afterwards.Calm yourself first. If you feel you're about to shout, step out for a moment and breathe.

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These tips are standard guidance from parenting programmes.

Screens and sleep

Lack of sleep impairs mood, attention, and behavior. Screens are the most common cause of late bedtimes.

A fixed sleep schedule. Also the weekend, with little difference.Screens out of the bedroom. The cell phone is charging in another room.An hour without screens before bed. Reading, a shower or a chat.Agreed rules. When, how much and where. Better in writing and for the whole family.Set an example. How you use your phone teaches more than your rules.

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These tips are standard guidance from parenting programmes.

School and studies

School is where they spend the most hours and where the problems are noticed first.

Talk to their teacher. Share what you see at home and ask what you see in class.If you don't want to go, find out why. Fear, conflict with peers, difficulty with homework.A quick, gradual return. The longer you miss class, the harder it is to get back.If there's bullying, act. Believe him, write down the facts and ask the centre to intervene in writing.A study routine. Same place, same time, with short breaks.Value the effort. Not just the grade.

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These tips are standard guidance from parenting programmes.

Teenagers

They need more autonomy and they still need boundaries. The bond is more important than winning every argument.

Pick your battles. Safety and respect, yes. The room order can wait.Negotiate. Listen to his proposal and come to terms with him.Respect their privacy. Knock on the door. Don't read his messages unless it's a serious risk.Take an interest in their world. His music, his shows, his friends, no questions asked.It's clear about alcohol, drugs and sexuality. Information and trust protect more than fear.Keep being there. Even if you're leaving, she needs to know you're available.

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These tips are standard guidance from parenting programmes.

Looking after yourself

An exhausted adult has less patience. Looking after yourself is part of looking after them.

Share the load. With a partner, family or trusted people.A little time for you every week. Even if it's short.Talk to other parents. Sharing eases guilt.Ask for help if you're overwhelmed. There's professional support for you, too.

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These tips are standard guidance from parenting programmes.

Sources

The information comes from these guides and studies. The numbers of each subject refer to this list.

This app provides information and general tips. It doesn't diagnose or replace your doctor or psychologist. If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call 112 or 024.

Would you rather talk it over with a professional? Order your first appointment at the Vivaldi Clinic., in person in Valencia or online.